Sustaining a Relationship

It appears to me that a lot of  couples these days, forget who they started out being. Many couples forget their roots. Once they start to live together, they seem to gradually lose the bonds that attracted them in the first place. Why is that?  Do we really change all that much?  I don't think so. So why the drift? Often we just get comfortable and lazy. So, how do we fix this you ask—by nipping it in the bud before it gets to the point of no return.

You should reflect on your relationship and what has changed—I bet there was a lot more teasing, kissing, fondling, and with the technology these days, a lot more texting too . Those early connections not only moved the relationship forward initially, they are also instrumental in keeping the relationship fresh now.  It all used to come so easy with the excitement of having a new partner - do we have to let that excitement die? For a long term relationship to succeed for the long term, a lot of work is required from both parties.  We often blame the failure on stress, stress at work, financial stress, etc., but this is not the real culprit here.  Many of the issues were probably the ones that made us closer in the first place.

If we are like most couples, we just get lazy. We get into our comfort zone, and let things deteriorate past the point of no return. Men for instance, start ogling more at other women, and making comments about how good looking they are, and they forget about the one their with.  Now, I am not putting any blame here - women can be guilty of this also. The point is we stop complimenting each other, and for the person at the other end of this scenario it can be quite a let down. We start to feel less adequate - less attractive. Most times were even afraid to say something for fear of upsetting the other person even though their actions have made us angry. Both men and women need to be fearless in expressing their disapproval, and faultless in absorbing and trying to understand the complaints.  We must always be sensitive to our partner's feelings - relationships take work, and when both partners work at it - it grows into a lasting romance. Here are a few things we can do to make our relationships stay healthy:

1) Go out of your way to complement your partner each day. It will make both of you feel good.
2) Love them and tell them that you love them. Never force them to assume that you love them
3) Men have to stop staring at other women – it may be conditioned by advertising, but it is just demeaning to your partner. And women need to think about comments that they may make about other guys.
4)  Honesty.....no one likes to be lied to so why do it. Tell each other everything, it will produce conversation
5) Have some alone time....every day make a little time whether its just a stroll, or snuggling up on the sofa to watch a movie
6) Talk to each other and make sure you bring up issues and work them through before they become an insurmountable obstacle.
7) Start your day off with a kiss and a statement that re-enforces your love and commitment to each other.
8) Be spontaneous- flirt with each other-  a little kissing on a stairwell before work can be rather sexy, and keep your partner thinking about you throughout the day
9) Don't be so serious...Laugh, smile, you know that saying “Partners that laugh together stay together” Its so true.....
10)  Make a point of never going to bed angry- whatever is bothering you talk it out, its not worth losing sleep over, and it starts your next day on a negative note. Make some time to snuggle when you get into bed....create a good night ritual. Some couples just get into their own sides of the bed, and that's it. I don't know about you, but  that is not my idea of a Good Night. Take a few moments to caress, and make going to sleep a wonderful thing knowing that you will be waking up beside your Prince or Princess in the morning.

Relationships are hard work but worth the effort. Keep at it so that your relationship becomes more play than work. When it becomes second nature to you, you have truly achieved the epiphany of satisfaction.

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Missing Toes

I sort of fell into communicating with a guy online for a couple of months because my best friend gave him my messenger address. At that point it just seemed natural for us to meet for lunch to see where our budding relationship might go. He lived quite some distance from me, but agreed to meet me on my turf. He showed up in an old truck (and I mean old) it looked like it had once belonged to “Jed Clampett”!

I greeted him and things started to go downhill even more quickly. He looked like he just came from a construction site, he was completely unkempt and his clothes were dirty, dusty and smelly. He then told me I would have to drive because there was a hole in the floorboard on the passenger side and he did not want me falling through.

He took me to an all you can eat buffet at the a high end Chinese restaurant. It was nice and the food was excellent. Things seemed to be looking up a bit, but that was short lived.  After telling me how nice I looked, always nice to hear, he proceeded to tell me that he only had two toes on one foot (like I really gave a shit) and how he had lost them as a child playing with his father's rifle. He then went on to tell me that he didn't really have a job and that he lied about having one so I would go out with him. He said he was about to lose his house that I found out wasn't a house at all but a friend's garage. He then told me he had no job prospects, no money and he knew he was not too attractive. He sobbed and cried hysterically saying if I didn’t want him he was going to shoot off the toes on his other foot. Rather than beat him about the head and shoulders with a baseball bat like I desperately wanted to, I just bit my tongue and consoled him. I said that he just had to be patient and the right one would come along. It just would not be me. I felt obligated to pay for lunch, and we went back to my apartment.

He told me he had a gift for me in the truck and said he hoped that yellow was my favourite color. I told him it was and he seemed pleased as he raced away. I wondered what the heck he could have for me that was yellow, and I soon found out. He returned a few minutes later with some over-ripe bananas. I didn't know weather to laugh or cry so I did neither. Instead I just stood there in awe. So then he informs me that he needs to spend the night because he had too much to drink. I told him (over my dead body) and tried to push him out the door. I was desperate to get him out so I did the first thing that came to mind. I threw bananas at him until he ran out the door as I slammed it! He continued pounding on my door saying let me in. I told him to take his bananas and go or I would call the police; so he left.

It proved to be a costly date. I have since moved and no longer allow my friends to fix me up.

I guess I will try a dating site next. At least they can keep your information private as they fix you up; not like my friends. Hopefully the guys on the dating site will not think that the best gift that they have to give is a banana..

Online Dating Sites

Maintaining A Healthy Relationship

It appears to me that a lot of  couples these days, forget who they started out being. Many couples forget their roots. After being together for a  few years or more they seem to lose that friendship that once bonded them together. Why is that?  As individuals do we really change that much?  I don't think so. So why then do we so often start to drift apart? Often we just get comfortable and lazy. To fix it, we have to inject new life into the mix.

Think about your relationship, and how you and your lover interacted when the relationship was new—likely there was there more kissing, touching, texting and bantering than now . Those early connections not only moved the relationship forward initially, they are also instrumental in keeping the relationship fresh now.  Who in their right minds would let that initial excitement die? For a long term relationship to succeed for the long term, a lot of work is required from both parties.  We often blame the failure on stress, stress at work, financial stress, etc., but this is not the real culprit here.  Many of the issues were probably the same ones we've  dealt with in the past that made us closer in the first place.

We fall into a pattern- we get lazy. Both partners get into their comfort zone, and let things go,and before you know it their at that point where they never thought they'd be. Men for instance, start ogling more at other women, and making comments about how good looking they are, and they forget about the one their with.  Women might take a look at the cute butt of some hot guy, and romanticize about them. The issue is that we start to neglect each other in small ways that end up being very significant in the long run. We start to feel less adequate - less attractive. Many times we do not want to bring up each small issue,for fear of looking like a nit picker, but the result is a cascading failure of the relationship as small issues continue to be swept under the carpet. Both men and women need to be fearless in expressing their disapproval, and faultless in absorbing and trying to understand the complaints.  We must always be sensitive to our partner's feelings - relationships take work, and when both partners work at it - it grows into a lasting romance. Here are a few things we can do to make our relationships stay healthy:

1) Go out of your way to complement your partner each day. It will make both of you feel good.
2) Tell them you love them --- sometimes we don't hear this enough
3) Men stop ogling and women stop checking out cute butts.
4)  Honesty.....no one likes to be lied to so why do it. Tell each other everything, it will produce conversation
5) Have some alone time....every day make a little time whether its just a stroll, or snuggling up on the sofa to watch a movie
6) Communicate- tell your partner how you feel, and work things out before they become worse than they are.
7) Always start your day off with a kiss, and a hug, and a good morning- it starts your day off on a positive note, and it feels real good too.
8) Be relaxed and do not be afraid of public displays of affection – some public kissing and tenderness will exhibit to the world how you care about your partner and broadcast to them that you love them and want to make sure that everyone knows it
9) Don't be so serious...Laugh, smile, you know that saying “Partners that laugh together stay together” Its so true.....
10)  Never go to bed angry – talk it out and work it out – the best thing for a relationship is a kiss before you go to sleep. The second best thing is sex before you go to sleep. You cannot have the second without the first.

Relationships are hard work but worth the effort. Keep at it so that your relationship becomes more play than work. When it becomes second nature to you, you have truly achieved the epiphany of satisfaction.

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What Lesbians Want

 For a great deal of lesbians, finding a perfect partner can be as easy as going online to a lesbian dating website (or even some more general purpose online dating sites) and creating an true profile that is fun and friendly, and then just sit back and read the emails that will start to trickle in for the next few days. Sounds easy right , well it is, but you will get a lot more action if you take the time to initiate contact with other people on the site. So spend some time reading other profiles online, because not only might you find some really interesting females to connect to, but you could also get some good ideas of things that you could have put in your profile or different ways of phrasing your profile to make it more interesting. If someone's wording or ideas caught your eye, then similar wording or ideas might help your profile catch someone else's eye. A number of lesbians are often exposed to different types of groups of people as they go about social, work or other events of importance in their lives. If you are someplace where you already have things in common with many of the people present these could be good places to meet someone new and get a relationship started.

 A common mistake that many lesbians make when having their first relationship is getting too involved too early. Soon you might find yourself in bed next to a person that you hardly know. Go out on a few outings first, get to know each other to find out what you have in common. You must have some common interests, values and plans for the future that will mesh well. Share things with each other, if you get a new job, if a family member has a baby, a wedding coming up, a promotion you might have gotten, be sure to involve your partner, they are not only your lover, they are  your best friend.

If you are at a family gathering or with friends and someone starts telling gay and lesbian jokes that are in bad taste and insulting to you and your partner, and you see your partner is disgusted by it, just get up and leave, tell them you came to enjoy yourselves not to listen to a lot of trash about how other people live their lives|One awkward situation would be to find yourselves at a social or family gathering and hear people dissing the gay and lesbian community at large. This will require you to make a stand and let people know that you will not tolerate statements of that nature. Insult them if you have to. If your family and friends are aware of your sexual preference then tell them that you are not at all amused at what was said, and if they really think that, then they are lowlifes that you do not want to associate with anymore. You will love who you want and you don't care what anybody else thinks or says.

Introduce your partner to your friends and family and involve them in everything that you do. It is important when you are trying to advance a relationship to involve your family and other friends as much as possible.

Being one of God's chosen people, at least when it comes to aids, lesbians are just so lucky that their partner fully gets what it takes to satisfy them sexually. Women just know what they need to do to keep each other hyped up during sex.  Gay men have a similar advantage, but too bad about the aids specter.  Sex is the one area where a lesbian or gay relationship just runs circles around the hetero types.

Life is for living and enjoying, so live it to the fullest. Live, love and share your life with others, and surround yourself with friends and family who will be there for you in both good times and bad.

 Just remember people are always a little uneasy about things they really don't know a lot about so ensure that you at least surround yourself with friends and family who have a positive attitude to both you, your sexuality, and your situation.  Since you are lesbians, it would be best if you have understanding friends from the gay community at large. Open minded heterosexual friends are tough to find, so if you have a few, cherish them and nurture them.

God created Adam and Eve, but much suppressed in the early bible was any reference to Eva, who was Eve's lesbian playmate. God was amazing, because she totally understood the needs of women.


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Exploring The Male G-Spot

 The male orgasm can be an exciting experience, the major function of the male orgasm is the ejaculation, however not all men ejaculate with orgasm. The female orgasm is however still a bit of a debate as to why it happens, it is generally believed that it is to help the sperm proceed along on their journey toward the ovum (egg).

 Most men out there are not at all familiar with their G-spot, some men don't know that they have one. Most of you will be surprised to learn that the male prostate is in fact the equivalent to the women's G-spot. Not many people out there are acquainted with this fact. It is also easier to find the male G-spot. For some people it may seem weird to explore that area, but if you keep an open mind about it you could experience the most fantastic orgasms you could ever hope to have.

FINDING THE MALE G-SPOT

The male G-spot is easy to find, however, it does require some tenacity. It is located below the bladder and in front of the rectum. Lying on your back seems to be the most favorable and comfortable position for this, so you will likely want to use a bed or a large sofa. The process will be easier if you have your legs elevated which you can do by having them hang over the back of the sofa or by leaning them against the wall behind the bed. Try putting a pillow under your derriere  to make it easier to reach the right spot. For first timers take your time and use a gel. Then gently insert a finger into the anus and probe gently, the prostrate gland has been reached when you come across the chestnut sized lump that is roughly about two inches inward.

If your partner is on his back your palm should be up, be sure your fingernails are not sharp, and be sure not to touch your own genital area with the same finger you used to penetrate your partners anus. Always remember that not all men like prostate stimulation just as some women love G-Spot stimulation and others find it uncomfortable. Once located and properly stimulated it will provide men with an orgasm that is more stimulating than they have ever had with regular sex.

Prostate milking as it is also called also enables the man to experience multiple orgasms that are longer in duration and gives them the ability to ejaculate without being sexually excited before hand. Orgasms achieved male G-Spot stimulation can be 400 percent more powerful and can actually last up to 5 minutes. Male G-spot stimulation produces a full body orgasm.

POINTS TO PONDER
 Before you and your significant other begin anal g-spot manipulation, you should take the time to make sure you are relaxed and not just start up in the heat of the moment. Some people have a hot bath before they proceed. Use a finger to locate and stimulate the G-spot if unsure or you are a newbie to this, there are sexual devices you can obtain that can enhance your experience as well. You can also try different methods each time for variety. Practicing oral sex while stimulating the G-spot is one option.

SOME MISCONCEPTIONS

People often think that for a man to play with his own G-spot is weird and perverse, which is the main reason why it is seldom talked about. The truth is that prostate milking is as normal as having intercourse, it is not weird and kinky, and it is not gay. There is nothing  perverse about enjoying the pleasures of self prostrate masturbation. As a very powerful sex gland it can cause a very dynamic orgasm, and it is entirely normal to experiment with it.


“WARNING”

There are some risks associated with prostate milking if it is not done correctly|. Excessive force on the prostate gland can cause several problems such as Gangrene, Hemorrhoidal problems, Blood poisoning and Transferring prostate cancer to various parts of the body. The amount of recommended pressure on the G-spot is comparable to the amount of pressure you would use to rub your eyes with.

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Let Go Of My Leg

A while back, I found myself all on my own again, after the father of my two children decided to leave us. For the next while, after finding a job, I had to work every day and look after my kids as best possible. Needless to say, my social life was non-existent. I had two good friends in similar circumstances who helped me through this period. We kept each other company on those lonely nights, eating crackers and cheese, drinking a little wine and indulging in fantasy talk about what kind of man we would like to meet. Of course we didn't really expect to meet our “Mr Perfect” anytime soon.

One day at work a friend and co-worker suggested that I try a new dating site that had just started up. Lets just cut to the chase and call it scumbags-r-us, if you get my subtle point. I met this moron, I mean man (loosely) in my first week on the site, he seemed smart, seemed articulate and humorous. As we chatted with each other over a few weeks, I let him know that I had not been with a man in quite a while, and needed to take things slow. I let him know upfront that I had two children because I wanted to be honest with him from the start, he informed me that he also had a child so it was no problem because he loved children. As a matter of fact, he told me that on his days off he spent most of his time playing with his son. So with all of this positive check marks in my rating column, I decided to take him up on an offer to go on a date.

Well on the evening of our date I ran around like headless chicken picking out clothes, picking up one of my friends who was going to babysit, getting my hair done (you know the whole nine yards thing) just to look my best for this hunk, at least that’s how he looked in his profile photo. My friend said to relax. I was coming across as needy and that always scares men off.  In retrospect, I sure wish that I had scared him off! So after collecting my self I went outside to wait for him as he was going to swing by and pick me up. Suddenly, there he was! I couldn't wait to get a look at that gorgeous muscular body, that thick blond hair and those beautiful green eyes. I bent over to say hi and was shocked senseless! I guess in that instant I hoped that somehow it was not him! But alas, he was my date. The real life image was such a letdown. I was actually in shock! I was so stunned that I just stood there like a dumb mute. Not knowing what else to do, I silently got into the car.

All the way to the restaurant, I kept looking at the rug on his head. It was so bad that it looked like something that was skinned off the ass of a cocker spaniel. Obviously it was not his picture on his profile, he certainly didn't have blond hair.  He didn't have any hair!  He was waring some kind of toupee and I think it was on backwards or inside out or something. He did not have green eyes like his picture. They were bloodshot, dark, and somewhat shifty. I didn't see any muscles either, he look like a crack addict. The top ranked restaurant that he promised to take me to ended up being slightly more upscale than a greasy spoon diner  I prayed that no one I knew would see me with this dork, not just for my own sake but because I did not think my children could ever live it down.

The waiter put us in a corner table. At least it had a table cloth and a candle for ambiance. The place was actually fairly decent on the inside. The waiters seemed competent and the decor was pretty nice all in all. I had the fish special with sweet potato fries and he had a rack of lamb with roasted potatoes. He had a bad case of roman hands and russian fingers if you get my drift. My hand was sore from slapping at him before the entree was served. He commented that a MILF like me had been without sex so long that they were hot to trot and really amazing in bed. I told him that any great sex that he thought might end the evening was not going to happen. After eating, he asked me to dance. This guy just had no clue that he had already lost the war. He kept trying to cop a feel of just about any part of my anatomy that was close to hand. On top of that, he seemed to think he could turn the evening around by impressing me with his slick dancing. He tried to jive with me. At one point his hand slipped out of mine and I stumbled into the bar. Well that was the last straw, as he approached me to see if I was alright I told him to stay away or I would scream. As I left the restaurant on my way to the hospital I let him know exactly what I thought of him, and let him know that I was getting a restraining order put on him to keep him away from me for good. I spent a few hours in the emergency ward nursing a broken nose.

That was the last time I took dating advice from anybody. I decided that I was going to spend more time making sure that any sites that I used were legitimate before joining them.


While I was researching dating sites, I stumbled across the following link, and it helped me zero in on the sites that I finally joined:

Online Dating Sites

The Outdoors Was Never This Good When You Were a Kid

Almost everyone who has dated in during the summer months has found themselves in the great outdoors, at some point, communing with nature. Whether that means camping or staying at a cottage, there will be many romantic moments as you enjoy yourself out in 'the wilds'. All that fresh air and all those sunsets are natural sexual invigorators – getting her in the intimate frame of mind, and reminding him about the natural side of being alive. Plus, there are those full moon nights with lots of bright stars – hopefully while you end up skinny-dipping together. Invariably, at some point, the entire concept of outdoors sex will just happen. Sex can be a great thing of course, but there are some cautions that you should take before setting out on such sexual adventures.

Problem: Dirty Sex (And Not “Good” Dirty, Either)

You have to remember that when you’re camping, you’re going to get dirty. All those nature hikes and long walks will cover you in dirt. Normal outdoor activities like starting a fire, cooking over a campfire, cutting wood, and just the smoke and bug sprays leaves you a much less desirable person to be around from an intimacy point of view. No matter how amorous you might feel, the Hollywood movie version of an idyllic and loving camping trip or nature walk are unlikely to happen unless you take care of basic sanitation necessities. So there are a few recommendations. Wash up thoroughly before bedtime. When roughing it in the bush, take a container of 'wet wipes' with you to help keep yourself sanitary in your nether regions.

Solution: Bath or Sponge Bath Frequently

There are ways around this pitfall, of course. In many national parks, or even state level parks, there are usually shower facilities. Of course this does not help you if you are on an overnight trip on a backpacking trail and miles away from a shower. Go during off-peak hours when you’ll have some privacy – waiting until all the kids in the park are in bed is the perfect time to go. Sneak in there together, and get dirty after you’ve got clean. An added bonus is that the sound of the shower will mask most modest sex noises, and will provide easy clean-up when you’ve finished. Be prepared for some quizzical and accusing looks if there are people waiting for the shower when the two of you exit. Odds are you’ll still be in post-coital bliss, so you won’t mind much.

Problem:  Being Alone

Tents are just not good at blocking sound. When you have sex at night, especially if one of you is a screamer, be prepared for anything from amusing looks or accusing looks from the campsites around you. In the worst case you may get a visit from the park authorities (and hopefully not in the middle of the act).

 Solution: Really Long-g-g Nature Hikes

This one works like a charm, as long as you remember some basic safety tips. First, watch out for wildlife – especially lions and tigers and bears – OH MY! – just kidding, but there are some animals that you have to consider depending on your region. Many areas have bears, but in the mountain regions, there are some cats that may cause concern. Most other meat eaters tend to shy away from people, but if you are in the deep south, you can run into reptiles that are not so pleasant. Nothing dampens the libido more than running for your life. Second, do not go on a long sex trek at night. Better to do it during the day, when wildlife is less prevalent, and you can see clearly as you run for you life if some scary animal shows up. Third, bring a blanket for comfort and to keep from getting grass and sand from getting in your various hairy parts. Also, let your camping party know you’re going for a hike.  That way, if you deplete all your bodily fluids during the coitus and can’t make it back, they can send the rangers out to look for you. Just pull up your shorts before they rescue you, for appearances sake.

Enjoy the Ride!

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