Saturday, September 10, 2011

Can You Really Find Real Love Online



This article is focused on the use of online dating sites to find love and happiness. I have observed the online dating industry for some time now, more as a curiosity than as a member.  I joined several dating sites some years ago and ended up getting caught up in how it is that people interact online versus real life. I have also tapped into my own extensive circle of friends and acquaintances in this same time period and also witnessed most aspects of the offline dating world as well.

So what have I found?
Interestingly enough, not much that has not already been discussed before.

When it comes to people meeting in real life, well, that has been going on for millennium, I have absolutely nothing to add on this topic that has not already been hashed out by writers since the time that man first developed writing. 

Internet dating, which is a higher tech offshoot of the matchmaking services that have been around for hundreds of years, is a relatively new beast, and as such, there are some insights that can be passed on that most people have yet to learn.

So lets start with some popular misconceptions:
Dating Sites Have Wonderful Matching Algorithms That Guarantee Me a Perfect Match
False – Some dating sites work very hard trying to perfect their compatibility algorithms but some others just use superficial matching criteria – what is interesting is that neither extreme of these sites perform statistically better than the other.  The reason is that, quite frankly, there are two main obstacles that cannot be overcome when you are trying to match by formula.

It Is Less Work To Find My Match On a Dating Site
False – To make a long story short, it takes a lot of time getting to know anyone that you hope to be your life partner. You just cannot take any shortcuts here. In fact, for this aspect of using a dating site it takes more effort because of the anonymous nature of the environment. Everyone is using made up handles, so it is not as if you can check with a mutual friend to see what they are really like.

Internet Dating Sites Are More Likely To Find Someone For Me To Date
True – Internet Dating Sites Are More Likely To Find My Soul Mate Dating Sites Are Better At Connecting You To Your Soul Mate.
False – Quantity does not equal quality. Just because you can see and interact with a lot more people online than you can in real life does not mean that you are being exposed to quality people that you have any real compatibility with, and even if you are compatible from an intellectual point of view, there is no guarantee that you will find the chemistry with them that you need to achieve soul mate status.


So Why Would I Use An Internet Dating Site Then?Well, they are really good for people who are open to discovering more about what they are really interested in. They are good for people who have not been successful finding their soul mate in real life because quite frankly they are looking for the wrong type of person in the wrong places.  If you approach online dating with an open mind, you will likely be able to interact with many more disparate people then you normally hang out with, and in that process, discover more about what you like in other people, which may just change your mind about who you need in your life to complete you.

To that end, you should approach using an online dating system the way you would approach getting an education. It is possible to educate yourself without going to school, but going to a school makes it easier to obtain a well-rounded education. Similarly, it is possible for you to find the love of your life without using a dating site, but you will likely be exposed to a whole lot more varying people at a dating site than you would by tapping into your circle of friends..

So, open your heart and give online dating a try.

You can start here:
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/onlinedating.php


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