Friday, December 2, 2011

How To Keep Smiling If Your Date Is a Dud

First dates are always fraught with trepidation. I mean, you are hoping for the best, but often you get something far shy of that mark.There must be a reason why first dates are so tough. One problem of course is the choice of venue. If the guy is not forthcoming in where you are going, or if you are not sure how classy the place is, it is tough to dress for. I mean you are always trying to look sexy, but sexy for one venue might look a bit trashy in another. Of course the biggest concern is not clothes at all. You are most likely preoccupied with the fact that you might not hit it off with the guy and the evening could play out forever. In many cases you have decided after about fifteen minutes that it is not going to work out, but you are trying to make the best of a bad situation. I mean, just telling him that you think he is an idiot may not be in your emotional makeup to pull off. That is pretty much my problem.  I have trouble with confrontation or making any sort of scene in public. Usually, after a bad date, I just ignore them if they try to call. If they do not call me, I count my blessings while secretly fuming that he should have at least called so I could ignore him.

By the way, I have found a secret way of keeping happy when I am out with a dud.

Even if you are out with a steady boyfriend, he might run into work associates and spend the evening talking shop, thus leaving you pretty much out of the conversation. More likely to happen, and even worse in my mind, is him running into his pals and talking about sports all night. I am not into sports of any type, including video games, which I personally feel is a waste of time second only to the World Wide Waste of Facebook!  Listening to gamers talk for me is about as exciting as watching paint dry. Surely there is something more important to talk about. I am digressing a bit here, but you can get a gist of just how turned off I would be by such conversation.

My problem is that I was brought up to be forever polite, and being polite is part of who I am. I just cannot jump up and scream that I am sick and tired and I am not going to take this anymore! So I often sit there, watching the clock crawl as my date tries to make conversation,  hoping beyond hope that the evening will end. Have you ever wished to be struck down by a meteor on a date? I have.After all, if someone has bored me senseless, or even worse, ignored me all night, it is highly unlikely that I will make love to them. And all that means is that I will just have to go home and play with myself.

So after being bored on more dates than I can count, one night while I was sitting there imagining ending the evening with my favorite vibrator, I had an idea.  I was in a sex shop with a girl friend of mind a few days ago and we had giggled over a pair of vibrator panties. At the time we just laughed at how inferior they would be to a regular vibrator. But tonight a possible good use came to mind. The following day found me picking up a pair with a remote control attachment.

The next time I dated, I wore my new electronic panties. As predicted, when we get to the bar, Mr. Wonderful starts to talk to his chums about sports. It was not long before I was hitting the go button on my electric panties. It was incredible how good it felt. From nothing to ninety in about 15 seconds.  So I sat there the rest of the night with a dazed look on my face pretending to be engrossed in the game on the set over the bar. By the end of the evening, I had even learned to manipulate the controls so that I could orgasm right at the point of a goal, so everyone thought that I was really into the game.

After that, I started to wear them on every date I go on, even now.  On those rare nights where everything is going good between us and I do not need to use them, it is pretty easy to slip off to the ladies room just before going home to change into regular panties. That way, there are no strange looks as we go home and hit the sack together.

One day, about three months after purchasing my secret date weapon, I was sitting in on our weekly sales meeting listening to my boss drone on about the same stuff that he drones on about every week. I have never understood the purpose of such meetings. I mean, how are they supposed to help us get more sales. They never talk techniques or tactics, they only put pressure on us! It would be a lot better if they put as much time into market research so they could build better products that consumers would want more.  Enough said. I started to daydream, then sort of had a flashback to the previous Saturday night when my boyfriend and his pals ignored me most of the night. They were spewing similar nonsense, but I did not care because I had on my magic pants. All of a sudden the idea took full bloom in my head! I could handle boring stuff at work the same way I handled boring dates! The following week, I tried it out for the first time.  Suddenly, I had a whole new perspective. And with my skill at manipulating them so well honed, I was able to time my orgasm to coincide with the end of the meeting. The boss gave me approving looks for my enthusiasm. And the best thing was that the panties were quiet enough that nobody could hear. It was only a short time before I found myself wearing them every day. It was expensive to buy a drawer full, and I had to go to 3 different sex shops to get enough in my size, but it was sure worth the effort. Because of these little darlings, my entire attitude about being at work has changed!  People at work are amazed at how serene I am all the time. No matter how tough the day is I am always upbeat. I guess that was quite a change for me. But under no circumstances will I ever tell any of them the secret of my epiphany.  No matter how much they pressure me for the answer, I just smile. Inwardly I am laughing. What a great life this is!

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