It appears to me that a lot of couples these days, forget who they started out being. Many couples forget their roots. After being together for a few years or more they seem to lose that friendship that once bonded them together. Why is that? As individuals do we really change that much? I don't think so. So why then do we so often start to drift apart? Often we just get comfortable and lazy. To fix it, we have to inject new life into the mix.
Think about your relationship, and how you and your lover interacted when the relationship was new—likely there was there more kissing, touching, texting and bantering than now . Those early connections not only moved the relationship forward initially, they are also instrumental in keeping the relationship fresh now. Who in their right minds would let that initial excitement die? For a long term relationship to succeed for the long term, a lot of work is required from both parties. We often blame the failure on stress, stress at work, financial stress, etc., but this is not the real culprit here. Many of the issues were probably the same ones we've dealt with in the past that made us closer in the first place.
We fall into a pattern- we get lazy. Both partners get into their comfort zone, and let things go,and before you know it their at that point where they never thought they'd be. Men for instance, start ogling more at other women, and making comments about how good looking they are, and they forget about the one their with. Women might take a look at the cute butt of some hot guy, and romanticize about them. The issue is that we start to neglect each other in small ways that end up being very significant in the long run. We start to feel less adequate - less attractive. Many times we do not want to bring up each small issue,for fear of looking like a nit picker, but the result is a cascading failure of the relationship as small issues continue to be swept under the carpet. Both men and women need to be fearless in expressing their disapproval, and faultless in absorbing and trying to understand the complaints. We must always be sensitive to our partner's feelings - relationships take work, and when both partners work at it - it grows into a lasting romance. Here are a few things we can do to make our relationships stay healthy:
1) Go out of your way to complement your partner each day. It will make both of you feel good.
2) Tell them you love them --- sometimes we don't hear this enough
3) Men stop ogling and women stop checking out cute butts.
4) Honesty.....no one likes to be lied to so why do it. Tell each other everything, it will produce conversation
5) Have some alone time....every day make a little time whether its just a stroll, or snuggling up on the sofa to watch a movie
6) Communicate- tell your partner how you feel, and work things out before they become worse than they are.
7) Always start your day off with a kiss, and a hug, and a good morning- it starts your day off on a positive note, and it feels real good too.
8) Be relaxed and do not be afraid of public displays of affection – some public kissing and tenderness will exhibit to the world how you care about your partner and broadcast to them that you love them and want to make sure that everyone knows it
9) Don't be so serious...Laugh, smile, you know that saying “Partners that laugh together stay together” Its so true.....
10) Never go to bed angry – talk it out and work it out – the best thing for a relationship is a kiss before you go to sleep. The second best thing is sex before you go to sleep. You cannot have the second without the first.
Relationships are hard work but worth the effort. Keep at it so that your relationship becomes more play than work. When it becomes second nature to you, you have truly achieved the epiphany of satisfaction.
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