Friday, April 27, 2012

Sustaining a Relationship



It appears to me that a lot of  couples these days, forget who they started out being. Many couples forget their roots. Once they start to live together, they seem to gradually lose the bonds that attracted them in the first place. Why is that?  Do we really change all that much?  I don't think so. So why the drift? Often we just get comfortable and lazy. So, how do we fix this you ask—by nipping it in the bud before it gets to the point of no return.

You should reflect on your relationship and what has changed—I bet there was a lot more teasing, kissing, fondling, and with the technology these days, a lot more texting too . Those early connections not only moved the relationship forward initially, they are also instrumental in keeping the relationship fresh now.  It all used to come so easy with the excitement of having a new partner - do we have to let that excitement die? For a long term relationship to succeed for the long term, a lot of work is required from both parties.  We often blame the failure on stress, stress at work, financial stress, etc., but this is not the real culprit here.  Many of the issues were probably the ones that made us closer in the first place.

If we are like most couples, we just get lazy. We get into our comfort zone, and let things deteriorate past the point of no return. Men for instance, start ogling more at other women, and making comments about how good looking they are, and they forget about the one their with.  Now, I am not putting any blame here - women can be guilty of this also. The point is we stop complimenting each other, and for the person at the other end of this scenario it can be quite a let down. We start to feel less adequate - less attractive. Most times were even afraid to say something for fear of upsetting the other person even though their actions have made us angry. Both men and women need to be fearless in expressing their disapproval, and faultless in absorbing and trying to understand the complaints.  We must always be sensitive to our partner's feelings - relationships take work, and when both partners work at it - it grows into a lasting romance. Here are a few things we can do to make our relationships stay healthy:

1) Go out of your way to complement your partner each day. It will make both of you feel good.
2) Love them and tell them that you love them. Never force them to assume that you love them
3) Men have to stop staring at other women – it may be conditioned by advertising, but it is just demeaning to your partner. And women need to think about comments that they may make about other guys.
4)  Honesty.....no one likes to be lied to so why do it. Tell each other everything, it will produce conversation
5) Have some alone time....every day make a little time whether its just a stroll, or snuggling up on the sofa to watch a movie
6) Talk to each other and make sure you bring up issues and work them through before they become an insurmountable obstacle.
7) Start your day off with a kiss and a statement that re-enforces your love and commitment to each other.
8) Be spontaneous- flirt with each other-  a little kissing on a stairwell before work can be rather sexy, and keep your partner thinking about you throughout the day
9) Don't be so serious...Laugh, smile, you know that saying “Partners that laugh together stay together” Its so true.....
10)  Make a point of never going to bed angry- whatever is bothering you talk it out, its not worth losing sleep over, and it starts your next day on a negative note. Make some time to snuggle when you get into bed....create a good night ritual. Some couples just get into their own sides of the bed, and that's it. I don't know about you, but  that is not my idea of a Good Night. Take a few moments to caress, and make going to sleep a wonderful thing knowing that you will be waking up beside your Prince or Princess in the morning.

Relationships are hard work but worth the effort. Keep at it so that your relationship becomes more play than work. When it becomes second nature to you, you have truly achieved the epiphany of satisfaction.

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/datingandhealthadvice.php

No comments:

Post a Comment