Let Go Of My Leg

A while back, I found myself all on my own again, after the father of my two children decided to leave us. For the next while, after finding a job, I had to work every day and look after my kids as best possible. Needless to say, my social life was non-existent. I had two good friends in similar circumstances who helped me through this period. We kept each other company on those lonely nights, eating crackers and cheese, drinking a little wine and indulging in fantasy talk about what kind of man we would like to meet. Of course we didn't really expect to meet our “Mr Perfect” anytime soon.

One day at work a friend and co-worker suggested that I try a new dating site that had just started up. Lets just cut to the chase and call it scumbags-r-us, if you get my subtle point. I met this moron, I mean man (loosely) in my first week on the site, he seemed smart, seemed articulate and humorous. As we chatted with each other over a few weeks, I let him know that I had not been with a man in quite a while, and needed to take things slow. I let him know upfront that I had two children because I wanted to be honest with him from the start, he informed me that he also had a child so it was no problem because he loved children. As a matter of fact, he told me that on his days off he spent most of his time playing with his son. So with all of this positive check marks in my rating column, I decided to take him up on an offer to go on a date.

Well on the evening of our date I ran around like headless chicken picking out clothes, picking up one of my friends who was going to babysit, getting my hair done (you know the whole nine yards thing) just to look my best for this hunk, at least that’s how he looked in his profile photo. My friend said to relax. I was coming across as needy and that always scares men off.  In retrospect, I sure wish that I had scared him off! So after collecting my self I went outside to wait for him as he was going to swing by and pick me up. Suddenly, there he was! I couldn't wait to get a look at that gorgeous muscular body, that thick blond hair and those beautiful green eyes. I bent over to say hi and was shocked senseless! I guess in that instant I hoped that somehow it was not him! But alas, he was my date. The real life image was such a letdown. I was actually in shock! I was so stunned that I just stood there like a dumb mute. Not knowing what else to do, I silently got into the car.

All the way to the restaurant, I kept looking at the rug on his head. It was so bad that it looked like something that was skinned off the ass of a cocker spaniel. Obviously it was not his picture on his profile, he certainly didn't have blond hair.  He didn't have any hair!  He was waring some kind of toupee and I think it was on backwards or inside out or something. He did not have green eyes like his picture. They were bloodshot, dark, and somewhat shifty. I didn't see any muscles either, he look like a crack addict. The top ranked restaurant that he promised to take me to ended up being slightly more upscale than a greasy spoon diner  I prayed that no one I knew would see me with this dork, not just for my own sake but because I did not think my children could ever live it down.

The waiter put us in a corner table. At least it had a table cloth and a candle for ambiance. The place was actually fairly decent on the inside. The waiters seemed competent and the decor was pretty nice all in all. I had the fish special with sweet potato fries and he had a rack of lamb with roasted potatoes. He had a bad case of roman hands and russian fingers if you get my drift. My hand was sore from slapping at him before the entree was served. He commented that a MILF like me had been without sex so long that they were hot to trot and really amazing in bed. I told him that any great sex that he thought might end the evening was not going to happen. After eating, he asked me to dance. This guy just had no clue that he had already lost the war. He kept trying to cop a feel of just about any part of my anatomy that was close to hand. On top of that, he seemed to think he could turn the evening around by impressing me with his slick dancing. He tried to jive with me. At one point his hand slipped out of mine and I stumbled into the bar. Well that was the last straw, as he approached me to see if I was alright I told him to stay away or I would scream. As I left the restaurant on my way to the hospital I let him know exactly what I thought of him, and let him know that I was getting a restraining order put on him to keep him away from me for good. I spent a few hours in the emergency ward nursing a broken nose.

That was the last time I took dating advice from anybody. I decided that I was going to spend more time making sure that any sites that I used were legitimate before joining them.


While I was researching dating sites, I stumbled across the following link, and it helped me zero in on the sites that I finally joined:

Online Dating Sites