I Found Love On My Computer

I was a recently divorced single woman in my early 50's and I like so many of my friends turned to  online dating for a solution. Because of my age, I really didn't think I had much of a chance of meeting  anyone online. I actually was not even going to try online dating, but my friends and sisters sort of twisted my arm to do it. I made my profile, and had my sisters pick out some of the best photos of me. Then I had one of my friends post my picture on my profile since I didn’t know anything about posting stuff online. In any event, once finished with all of that I just sat back and mostly waited. I had no idea how these dating sites worked. I mean, I browsed around and looked at some men's profiles, and was pleasantly surprised to see a lot of guys my age, but I just felt it was too forward of me to contact them first.

The next day I had over a dozen emails in my inbox. I could not believe it. It was pretty exciting.  Some of that excitement ebbed a bit when I read some of them. I cannot believe the stupidity of some men. However a couple were quite interesting and I replied to them. If I got to the point that I wanted to meet in person I made sure that I met everyone at a nice restaurant down the street from where I worked. Since I knew some of the staff, I felt safer there than any other place I could think of. It was exciting, but it was exhausting.  Learning so much information about so many people and keeping it all straight in your head is tough work.Interacting with all of these men was exciting, but it was mentally exhausting as well. Keeping them all straight was difficult. I finally resorted to opening a diary for each on my computer and reviewing it before I talked to each of them. It was lots of work, but I kept at it. I started questioning if I could keep up the pace, but I was determined not to spend much more of my life by myself, so I kept at it.

I felt most comfortable in my life being part of a long term relationship. I thrived on that and really wanted to find someone to have in my life again. After all that activity, one man really piqued my interest. He had a way of wording things in his emails that I found refreshing from the rest of the men. He was concise, yet managed to be articulate at the same time. It showed that he thought about what he wrote about before committing it to words. So much better than the random blathering that I got from most other people. It even showed in his profile which left me with the impression that he was someone well educated, who was not ego centric. He seemed to be really in touch with the so called “feminine side” of himself. I was surprised about how often he asked me how I felt about things. When you talk to most men about things that are troubling you, they instantly try to tell you how to fix it. He was not like that. He would often talk to me for a long time delving into my feelings about things before ever venturing an opinion. My first instinct was that he was gay and just pulling my leg, but I later realized that hew was the genuine article. He was just a very caring person who believed that women were not second class citizens. He told me that he had not always been so open minded, but he had spent many years in Europe, and had seen what can happen when people let outside cultures influence society's mores. He had been transferred back to our city fairly recently.

I had traveled to Europe several times. On top of this, we both shared a love of most winter sports. We often chatted about our impression of various cities, and which ski resorts did we like the best.  His profile had no picture on it, so at no point in our early interactions was I chasing a pretty face. It was his communication ability and points of view that won my respect. When he later emailed me a picture of himself, I was not disappointed. When we first decided to talk over the phone, I was nervous about giving him my number. I convinced him to give me his instead. He gave me his number but I was actually too scared to call at first. After several days I finally got enough courage to call, and I'm glad I did.

“He was fantastic, charming so sweet and such a gentleman.|He was just so amazing. In real life he was even better than online. So sweet, and always a gentleman.|He turned out to be an incredibly sweet and charming guy. Always a gentleman. For that first date we met at a nice little restaurant that we were both familiar with. I got there first, worried that it would make me look needy, but I could not help myself. I am compulsive about being early to everything. My biggest concern was that we would not click. As I looked towards the door, in walked this gorgeous hunk of a man. Before he came over, he looked at me from across the room. As he stood there, I absorbed the fact that he had dark hair, almost black, with just a touch of gray at the temples. Almost like professor X in the Xmen comics. I was in complete awe. We talked and laughed and shared some personal stories. Time was streaming by but I could not stop it. I did not want it to have to end. The meal would not last long enough for me. I was having too good a time.  We left after he paid the bill. I noticed that he left a nice tip as well. He kissed me when we got to my house. As he drove away, I sighed. Everything was just too good to be true. The chemistry for me had been instantaneous. I already knew that he was the one.

We had several more dates after that, and it seemed that every date was better then the one before. But something began to bother me. I had not been exactly truthful about my age in my profile. My friends had convinced me to exaggerate a little. Just take a few years off and when he finds out later, well maybe it won't matter. I put my age as 51 but in fact I was 54, “not a big deal I know”, but most people, even guys, don't like to be lied to and will wonder what else you've lied about. I decided to tell him the truth when I felt the time was right.

We went to a small bar one evening for a drink. The waiter asked me for proof of age with a smile on his face. I just knew that my honey Max had put him up to it. To play into the joke, I pulled out my license to show him and we all laughed when he pretended to scrutinize it really closely. Max asked if he could see my license and I just passed it over without a thought. He said, “Holy cow, you're fifty four!” I just sat there not knowing what to say. Then he started laughing like an idiot! When I asked what was so funny, he said that the joke was on him. He had lied about his age as well. As it turned out he was older than he stated in his profile. It seems he's two years older than me and not two years younger. We laughed about the fact that we had both caught each other out.

We had dated for six months or so. Late one night he called me and woke me up from this sensual dream I was having about us. He just had to tell me something right that moment and was not something that he wanted to discuss on the phone. He wanted to come over immediately. Half an hour later he came in, sat down and said, “I have something to say to you that can't be put off any longer.” I thought to myself, “Oh God this can't be good.”

I braced myself for the worst, even opening a box of Kleenex because I was sure I was going to need them. Well I needed them, but in a good way. He got down on one knee, told me I was the best thing that had ever happened to him, that he had been waiting all of his life to find me, and asked me to marry him. I had to say yes. I mean what else could I do. I was madly in love with him.

I have been married to Maxwell now for three years. It has been the most wonderful period of my life. My former marriage does not compare to what I have with Max. It is like being a new bride every day. And to think I found him on an online dating site. Someplace that I had thought of as a last chance place to meet someone!

So that is the story of Max and me. It is only the beginning. Maybe I will write a followup some day. If you have been loath to try Internet dating, you should give it a try. It is not all as rosy as I have depicted in my tale. I found that there were a lot of truly despicable characters on just about every site. But each site gives you tools that allow you to easily block them. When you block someone on a dating site, you cease to exist for them. They will never be able to find you in search results again. From their perspective, you no longer have an account on the site. I tell you that only because I have met a lot of women who stopped using dating sites because they ran into a few morons, and never spent any time learning how to deal with them. In any event, even with the negatives that you will find, I would recommend online dating to anyone.
Below I have posted a link to one of the resource sites that I used. The sites referenced there are some of the best and are well organized. There are so many to choose from you are sure to find what you want. Good luck in your search!


Dating Advice